When the world tells you no, just tell yourself “yes.”

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Well, it’s done.  I made it alive, but barely breathing. I graduated.  Passed boards.  Got licensed.  Now that I’ve accumulated enough letters behind my name to compete with the alphabet, it’s time to make my way back to the working world.  It has been quite the change actually having a second to breathe, wondering what I would like to do with my days, cooking dinners with my husband, and cuddling with my family. A nice change.  Unfortunately, there is always something in life that grabs hold of your leg and drags you back to earth when you’re feeling like you’re on cloud nine.

That nirvana buster would be my job search.

For the past couple months Em and I have been on the tightest budget that you could imagine.  We clip every coupon, make our groceries go as far as possible, spend our weekends home, stopped eating dinner out, even evaded necessary doctors appointments to forgo the co-pay.  It’s not fun.  It sucks.  It’s a constant reminder that I’m failing at begining my career.  It isn’t like I haven’t had any bites, the problem is that nothing seems to be working out in our favor.  At least that’s how it seems.

I understand and agree that the first job will not be you last one and that everyone has to sacrifice a little, but I do not believe that one should sacrifice their family and happiness purely for an income.  Have you ever stopped and seriously thought about what happens when you die? Honestly.  Stop what you’re doing and think about death.  Think about how there is nothing left.  How everything is gone.  Life is over.  Think about how it could happen the moment you leave in the morning, or during a lunch break.  It’s a little scary and puts life in perspective.  What are your priorities in this short life? If you ask me, enjoying every little bit of life and spending as much time with my family are my priorities.

So how does this relate to my job search…  well, one position I was offered in Atlanta was very attractive, until the contract came.  5 days PTO, less of a salary than I made as a nurse, on call every other weekend… seriously? Do I look like your work horse? Do I look like I don’t have a family? I had prayed for clarity earlier that week, and that contract was all the clarity I needed.  Another position in Athens had the whole philosophy of medicine wrapped up in a businessman’s tie.  They supported anything that went against the Hippocratic Oath.  Sorry Charlie.  And finally, my current job prospect, which I would love more than anything to have work out.  A job I finally feel passionate about.  A job I can see myself raising kids with, taking vacations with, growing professionally with.  After viewing a sample contract and probing further in regards to FMLA and competition clauses, I have been ignored for the past 3 days.  No answers. Fell off the face of the earth. Is it wrong to inquire about contractual wording? To ask for clarification that I may not lose my job in the instance I want to have a family?

This brings me to a whole other blog post in regards to the inequality that still exists for women and employment.  The pressure to hold off on having children due to the inconvenience it causes your employer is mounting more than ever. Un-freaking-believable.  It’s 2013 for God’s sake.  If I want to have a child, I should not be chastized for doing so. Call me a hippie or a feminist. Frankly I don’t care. My family will ALWAYS come first, and if you want to fire me for bringing life into this world, then I didn’t need to work for you in the first place.

I digress. So this whole job search is a daily struggle.  Over the past month I have applied to 50+ positions and have only heard back from a handful.  It gets tough and you feel like a let down.  Very disheartening.  Kind of makes you not want to get out of bed.  But I do.  I wash my face, brush my teeth, get dressed, and get back to the hunt.

I know there’s something good out there.  I know there is someone who wants my services and believes in the virtues of living your life and family first.  Which brings me to the use of positive affirmations.  Sometimes you really do need to do a little bit of affirmation work when the odds seem stacked against you.  Here are a few that I’ve  come to like over the past few weeks.  These have been taken from: http://www.prolificliving.com/blog/2012/08/27/100-positive-affirmations/

1. I have every bit as much brightness to offer to the world as the next person.

2. I trust my inner light and intuition to guide me

3.  I know the situation will work out for my highest good.

4. I may not understand the good in this situation yet, but it is there.

5. I refuse to give up because I haven’t tried all possible ways yet.

6. I do not settle for boring, meaningless, and frustrating work.

7. I believe in my ability to change the world on a small smale with the work that I do.

8.  All that I need will come to me at the right time and place in this life.

Although it is hard to believe the words I say, I have to keep repeating them, and knowing that it will all work out.  Keep your chin up kid.  I hope this provides some positive to your day.

 

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