>Caution: This product may be harmful to your health.

If this can be placed on cartons of cigarettes, bottles of vodka, and that hallucinogenic stuff Miley Cyrus ‘bonged,’ why can’t we put it on humans?

I know its been some time since I’ve blogged, but in all honesty between the holidays, my husband being sick, and the start of graduate school- I really haven’t had a second to breathe.

So back to my post, now that my apologies are done… I was giving into my daily social network fix and came across a relationship status change for an ex-boyfriend. Mind you, I in NO WAY have any sort of emotional ties to this guy anymore. Never in a million years would I want to torture myself with seeing or talking to him again. Anyway… he is now dating some poor girl. And as soon as I saw that innocent soul’s face, I immediately wish I had her number so that I could warn her about all the things no one ever warned me about. I know, I know, impossible. Every relationship starts out with a ‘honeymoon phase’ and then drifts into troublesome waters. Some couples are able to navigate to safe shores, while others drown in turmoil and drift apart. They are in that honeymoon phase and I honestly wish I could somehow get through to her before she gets her heart broken. I know you’re saying, “C’mon, give the guy a chance.. maybe he’s changed.” Here’s the thing- I would, except for the fact that I know we won’t ever change. He had 8 years to change even after all cards were laid on the table and we were in an open relationship… and well… he never even did anything to make things better. So that’s where we ended. And when I fell in love with my husband, I realized just how love worked. That in an equal relationship you shouldn’t have to pull hair to get someone to help you out. That equality meant giving 100% and 100% from each person, and that if someone really loved you and wanted to be with you – not even mother nature or 300 miles could stop them from seeing or being with you. I am forever grateful for my angel, my husband. The man who showed me that love was right in front of my face all along, and the man who saved me from being a single feminist for life. lol.

Anyway, here’s my warning label which I am placing on my ex-boyfriend via the internet for all the world to see:

CAUTION: May have the tendency to induce heart conditions such as Broken and Hurt heart as well as cause long periods of unnecessary painful wailing and sobbing. Prone to pathological lying, drug use, cheating, inability to follow simple instructions (ex. not calling when asked to), insensitivity, and inability to show emotions. Lacks important necessary life aspirations such as (but not limited to): family development, career oriented goals, financial budgeting ability, social skills (in regards to mate’s family), monogamy, and possess severe commitment phobia.